This is one of the most eloquent and profound essays I've ever read on this platform. I'm sorry that you can't have Backflipping Gymnast Mia anymore, but the world gets the treasure of Powerhouse Writer Mia. This isn't mean to downplay your injuries or suffering, but I was an EMT and a Master's of Nursing student and we're not really fazed by poop or blood (even if the patient thinks OH MY GOD I'VE JUST IRREVERSIBLY TRAUMATIZED THE NURSE WITH MY SCREWED-UP BODY.) You may have felt at your lowest while on the hospital toilet in front of that young man, but I'll bet you good money that a post-op with loose stool is not the worst thing he saw that shift!