It doesn't make you a "self-hating Jew" to view a conflict from both sides or feel equally devastated by both the Hamas attacks and the Gaza humanitarian crisis. I'm a former Israeli EMT (was stationed in South Ashkelon about 15 yrs ago, 5 mi from the Gaza border) and one of my childhood best friends is Palestinian (fortunately his family is safe at the moment). It's an incredibly complex situation that's sparked hostilities going back 3,000 years. I can't tell you how to fix it. But I can emphasize that it's very important to let both your Muslim and Jewish friends know that you're here for them if they need someone to listen to their opinions and concerns- it's incredibly hard right now for both groups. Lastly, if you overhear someone say something that is antisemitic or Islamophobic, speak up and let that person know that racism only leads to more violence and hatred.